Spoke too soon...

Gah...

Sometimes I have to wonder why I bother. No sooner have I made a post where the world appears to be seeing games in a clear and honest light than some muppet over at Sony thinks it'd be a good idea to promote God of War II using a dead goat, some warm offal and a handful of topless girls....

Though I shudder at the thought of actually using a link to the Daily Mail, it was the only version I could find at the time to link. Cut through their usual sensationalist rubbish though (including "the lengths to which the industry will go to exploit youngsters" despite it being an 18 rated game) and there are a few facts there!

The Daily "We can make eating cereal shocking" Mail Article

I've got no problem with an adult orientate launch party, but using a real goat?!? Regardless of how it actually died, I'm not sure that was the smartest idea give the number of uneducated idiots currently gunning for the entertainment industry... the last thing you want to do is give them ammunition.

Or maybe that was Sony's plan? Though I doubt it included a recall of an entire print run of their magazine...

Balanced media report shocker! Gamers rejoice...

I suppose it was bound to happen eventually...

CNN News Story

Although the comment from the 'Manhunt Fan' doesn't exactly paint the best picture ;)

I hate to tar the rest of the world with the same brush (with more that a few coats on the good ol' US of A) but there does appear to be one message that seems quite clear to me... us Brits are just a little more level-headed when it comes to gaming!

It's not that hard to spot... look what happened with the 'Hot Coffee' mod! In the US there was outrage and the game was rated R and pull violently from shelves. In the UK, the BBFC shrugged and pointed out that they had already given it an 18 rating for the violence and swearing... adding adult relations to the bundle didn't really change that.

Mind you, we don't have to deal with the likes of Jack 'Soccer Mom' Thompson over here and guns are a little harder to come by for the average teenager. I still worry though about a country that's quite happy to sell a game full of guns, drugs, gangs and violence in your average shopping mall but then is up in arms at the suggestion that two adults might partake in some consensual lovin' (unless you're paying for it of course as that was in the game regardless of the mod).

Ah well... I'm off to command my armies of GDI. Better hope I never get put in charge of a REAL army... who knows what I might get up to!

Nai

Radioactive mutant harassment

It's been a long time coming and, having read a few of the reviews, it's not exactly what some people were expecting.

A lot was made of the A-life simulation and the life would carry on regardless of your actions... and I think it does.

The first time you spot a mutant dog dragging off the corpse of a bandit you shot earlier to a more convenient place to eat is quite incredible. Or maybe it's when you return to a Stalker camp you left a few hours ago to find them in a pitched battle with some other local band... corpses of people you'd be chatting to earlier littering the surrounding area. In some places it is so subtle you might miss it... but I think that's part of the attraction; you shouldn't notice. Anything that sticks out or grabs your attention is likely to break the immersion of the game and, in my opinion, they seem to have got it almost right.

There's other little touches as well, like the fact that enemy soldiers will attempt to flank you or use cover; mutant dogs hunt in packs but will run off when they realise that they are the only one left; the list could go on.

The game isn't perfect and the first patch (I suspect there will be many more to come) wasn't exactly popular if you'd made any significant progress, as it incompatible with existing saved games. Personally, I'd already made it through about half of the main story but was happy to start again as I'd been enjoying it so much.

Strangely, there is a lot to dislike about the game... it has realistic(ish) weight limits on your inventory, your weapons and armour degrade with use making them less effective, ammunition can be difficult to come by for some of the better weapons and the radiation can be a REAL pain in the behind sometimes. It can be a real challenge. But the truth of the matter is that these should be selling points and they make the game what it is! We've been spoilt of late with the ability to carry unlimited quantities of guns, ammunition etc... that never go wrong or wear out. I love the fact that in the middle of a gun fight, if I've got a little too ambitious, I might find myself stood in the open with a jammed assault rifle. It's an easy thing to remedy... just reload the weapon... but for those precious few seconds I'm defenseless and THEY know it!

I've already clocked up over 20 hours and have barely had time to even look at Command and Conquer 3 (yet). I love it... and the more I play it, the more it seems to drive those radioactive, psychic, mutant hooks into me!

Tough love... is there any other kind?

The three Rs - Reading, Ranting and Really BAD Technical Support... (very long post)

I think I'm in the wrong job.

Actually... let me change that... I think I'm in the wrong industry!

Now maybe it's just me, but, as a manager of a technical support department I spend a lot of time fighting the 'bad press' that the job seems to generate. People often misunderstand what we do for a living: We fix problems and make things better... we are not here purely to make your life more difficult and we certainly don't spend our time trying to make the systems you use go wrong.

Trust me when I say that if you upset us, we have far more amusing ways of getting you back than making your computer go 'slow'! Nothing is more dangerous than a system administrator with a grudge (not that I would ever dream of being unprofessional and posting your deepest, darkest secrets on the nearest popular blog/forum... but you know I could!).

So, imagine my dismay when I end up weeks after buying a new All-in-one printer for someone and I'm STILL 'discussing' a software problem with the technical support department of the manufacturer.

(I warn you now... this is a long post)

Knowing how much detail I like people to give me when they encounter a problem, this is the original support call I submitted on the 12th March:

Everything seems to be installed and working except for the fax software. Every time the system tries to access the fax, an error message appears stating "Failed to open or initialize the FaxMan database". Eventually, after this message has appeared a few times, a new window will appear with an application error for lxctfax.exe (attempting to read memory 0x00000000).

The software is being install under a user account with administrative access to the local PC and I've tried it twice now without success.

Please help

Not, I hope, an unreasonable request. Two days later, I receive the following:

Thank you for contacting Lexmark International. Your customer reference
number is CUxxxxxxxxx. Please include this number for future correspondence.

Please follow the steps given below to set up the printer to send and receive faxes:

1. Connect telephone line from the LINE socket on the All-In-One to the telephone wall jack.

2. Connect the answering machine to the EXT socket on the All-In-One.

3. Connect the other telephone line to the answering machine.

4. Connect one end of the telephone line from the answering machine to the telephone.

If you are not using the answering machine then connect the printer directly to the wall outlet.

Please provide the information listed below to facilitate the record of your case.

Date of purchase:

Place of purchase:

If you have bought the printer through DELL, please specify your Service Tag Number and also specify if you have a beige or black printer.

Please do not modify or delete the subject text and use the same email address for all your replies.

If you have any further questions, please reply to this email in the usual way or contact us at our Technical Support Centre on the number above.

Best regards,
Sumanta
Lexmark Technical Support Team

Ok, I'm thinking that this is probably some sort of automated response... not to worry, I'll email them back with the details they've asked for and THEN we'll get some action.

Not entirely sure why you have sent back instructions on how to connect the cables to the printer/fax as this bears no relevance to my support call (and this is already done correctly). The problem is with the ability to use the fax software on the PC...

Date of purchase: 2nd February 2007

Place of purchase: *Some major retailer or other*

Another reply, this time the following day (which is great):

To send a fax with "Fax solutions," please follow the steps given below:

1. Go to "Start," "Programs," (Windows XP: "All Programs") "Lexmark Fax Solutions" and click "Lexmark Fax Solutions."

2. In the Sending Faxes screen, under "I Want To...," click "Send a new fax."

3. When the Enter Recipient Information screen appears, enter the recipient's "Name," "Company" and "Fax Number." Click "Next." The Select "Cover Page" Information screen will appear.

4. Select "No cover" page or Use cover page template as required. Click "Next." The "Attach Additional Documents" screen appears.

5. If you are adding an attachment, you can do it here. Click "Next." The "Sending Options" screen appears.

6. Make your selections as required from these sending time and fax type options.

Please do not modify or delete the subject text and use the same email address for all your replies.

If you have any further questions, please reply to this email in the usual way or contact us at our Technical Support Centre on the number above.

Best regards,
Maria
Lexmark Technical Support Team

Ah... erm... ok... not sure that's really going to help if I can't actually run the fax software in the first place. Perhaps they misunderstood...

Thanks Maria... but I'm afraid you still seem to be missing my actual problem. The fax software will not load at all.

*Quoted original call*

Please understand that I do not need guidance on the usage of the software, nor do I need instruction on how to connect the cables... I need technical support for the fax software which will not run.

My original support call was very clear about what the problem is

You might be able to tell, but I'm starting to get a little frustrated that I've got a user unable to fax from her PC (which she needs to do) and to make it worse, she's on a remote site with no local support. Anyway, yet another reply... this time on the same day (I'm obviously becoming a priority call).

Dear costumer,

First of all, I would like to apologize for the difficulties you have encountered in trying to get this problem solved and for any inadequate information we may have provided you with adding further delay in the resolution of the issue.

As far as your request is concerned, please refer to the link below and read carefully the instructions it provides before you start doing them.

http://support.lexmark.com/cgi-perl/knowledgebase.cgi?ccs=227:1:0:null:0:0&docid=ENUS25296

Please keep me informed if you have any questions or remarks.

Best regards,
IMANE
Lexmark Technical Support.

Wow... a personalised reply, with an apology (ignoring the fact that this is the first reply I’ve had that didn’t use my name and that I’m now a ‘costumer’). That's the sort of support I like to see. What could possibly spoil this... oh... maybe if the link was to a webpage explaining how to setup the fax software (that won't actually run).

It took me a little while to reply (unfortunately I had other people/problems to deal with and I wanted to make sure I'd actually tried following their instructions just in case I had actually missed something) but it was short and bitter.

Unfortunately, as per my original support request, the fax software will
not run (please see the original ticket for details of the errors).

Some assistance with the actual problem would be appreciated!

This time the reply takes five days... evidently I've moved down the priority list.

To install the Fax Solution Software, please follow the setup instructions given below:

1. Place the Lexmark installation CD in the CD-ROM drive. Cancel installation screen.

2. Double-click on "My Computer."

3. Right click on the Lexmark CD icon.

4. Left click on "Explore."

5. Double-click on the "Fax" folder and then double click on the "Setup" folder.

6. Select the appropriate language. The "InstallShield" Wizard appears.

7. Click "Next."

8. Click "Yes" to accept the license agreement and then click "Next." A Setup Status screen appears, displaying a progress bar. When 100% has been reached, click "Finish" to complete the installation.

Please do not modify or delete the subject text and use the same email address for all your replies.

If you have any further questions, please reply to this email in the usual way or contact us at our Technical Support Centre on the number above.

Best regards,
Maria
Lexmark Technical Support Team

...head ...beating ... wall ...pain

*cry*

But the fax software is already installed, it just won't run! What am I doing wrong? Who did I upset? Pleeeeeeease help me...

I have passed through frustration and anger and I'm now moving into desperation, despair and denial... at least I'm back dealing with Maria (if that's really her name).

Maria,

Thank you for the information but I already know how to install the software... the problem is that the software will not run once it has been installed!

We have also tried uninstalling and reinstalling the software with no change.

PLEASE read the initial support request... all of the details are there.

And that is currently where it stands. All I can do is wait till either they read my reply, or I find myself able to go out, visit the remote site again and ring Lexmark technical support in the vain hope of support, guidance and counselling!

Watch this space...